Labels Against Women

           some women wont go after a job position or title because they are afraid they wont be accepted or liked or that they will come of as pushy or bossy. we cant let what others "might" think or say keep us back from going after something we want or deserve.  this ad by Pantene shows the double standards that hold women back. in a modern world like today this cannot be the case. 

Putas Todas...(The original "We are all Sluts" by Pamela Martinez Achecar)

Desde que tengo uso de razón el adjetivo calificativo más común para describir a una mujer es “puta”. Parecería ser que lo primero que llega a la mente de las personas al referirse a una fémina es su sexualidad; que además, todos tienen la calidad moral de juzgar y sentenciar como buena, no tan buena o simplemente tan terrible que se merece ir a la horca por ella. Yo misma me he sentado durante largas horas a dialogar con mis amigas sobre lo fácil que es fulanita. Sé con certeza que muchas personas se han sentado a decir lo mismo de mí. Sin embargo, en medio de este vaivén de conversaciones me llegó de repente una duda: qué nos califica para juzgarnos entre nosotras mismas y exactamente cuáles son nuestros criterios? Entonces comprendí que las mujeres son tan vistas como objetos de propiedad pública, que todos creen que está bien opinar sobre su sexualidad. Esto es un grave problema socio-cultural que pasa desapercibido por la mayoría, pero que directa o indirectamente nos hace mucho daño a todos.

Si lo analizamos bien, es más de lo mismo: el valor de una mujer viene dado en gran medida por su cuerpo –no solo por cómo lo conserve (más nos vale ser un size 0) sino también por cómo lo use. La moralidad de una mujer tiene poco que ver con compasión, bondad, integridad o ética y muchísimo que ver con besuqueos y penetraciones. De hecho, recuerdo una charla que recibí en mi colegio –al que asistía para ser educada en valores- en la que comparaban a las mujeres con las rosas. Según la charlista, cada vez que una mujer tiene una pareja pierde un pétalo y si tiene muchas parejas antes de casarse, pues lo único que tendrá para ofrecerle a su esposo es un tallo sin hojas. Obviamente, ir a la universidad, capacitarse, ser íntegra, exitosa, interesante, divertida y una buena persona es totalmente secundario, hay que ser castas antes que nada.

Desafortunadamente, ser seria, casta, pura y digna supone una total restricción de nuestras libertades, no solo como mujeres sino como seres humanos. Las mujeres no podemos salir mucho de fiesta, ni tener muchos amigos hombres, ni hablar abiertamente sobre sexo, ni beber mucho, ni siquiera hablar muy alto o vestir con un escote pronunciado. La autora feminista, Jessica Valenti, dijo que: “Al parecer, la palabra “puta” puede aplicarse a cualquier actividad que no incluya hacer puntos de cruz, orar, o sentarse inmóvil […]” [1] Es decir, hay una serie de rígidos parámetros y expectativas que se supone que cumplamos y a la menor desviación nuestra moral entra en juego.

Cuántas de ustedes no se han sentido cohibidas de subir una foto, hacer un comentario o incluso de besar a un chico por temor a ser juzgadas? Todavía a mis 22 años tengo amigas que se “hacen las difíciles” para conquistar a alguien que les interesa. Porque, por supuesto, una mujer indecisa que hay que convencer y que al final resulta ser como un premio para el galán que la corteja, es mucho más atractiva que una mujer decidida, que sabe lo que quiere y no necesita que nadie forme una opinión por ella.

Casi por inercia llamamos romanticismo a la idea del amor propuesta por Ricardo Arjona (¡ese gran erudito de nuestro tiempo!) en su canción “Dime que No”, en la que claramente la mujer es concebida como un trofeo para su Romeo, el que está más atraído por el reto que la mujer supone, que por ella misma. Tenemos que volvernos conscientes de qué hay detrás de nuestros prejuicios y en qué medida laceran las libertades y los sentimientos de otras personas. La palabra “puta” no tiene otro objetivo que el de humillar a las mujeres y evitar que se empoderen de todas las dimensiones de sus vidas. Con demasiada frecuencia confundimos a una mujer independiente y segura de sí misma con una mujer fácil, no digna de ser respetada como ser humano y mucho menos de ser pareja de nadie.

Estamos en un periodo social y cultural en el que las luchas por la igualdad de género han cobrado mucho auge. Pero mientras la mayoría se concentra por alcanzar conquistas más palpables, las amenazas silentes nos van consumiendo socialmente. Nos hemos preocupado tanto por revolucionar las estructuras que hemos dejado de lado la transformación más importante: la del pensamiento. Siempre que las mujeres sean evaluadas y valoradas por sus apariencias, en el espectro más amplio de la palabra, su verdadera esencia, quienes realmente son, quedará relegada en el olvido. Servirá de poco que alcanzemos la paridad de género en las estadísticas, si en el plano humano no hemos cambiado las relaciones de poder que nos rigen. El cambio empieza por cada uno de nosotros.

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[1] Valenti, Jessica. "He's a Stud, She's a Slut." He's a Stud, She's a Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know. Berkeley, CA: Seal, 2008. N. pag. Ebook.

We are all "Sluts" by Pamela Martinez Achecar

Since I can remember, the most common adjective to describe a woman is a "slut". It seems to be the first thing that comes to people's mind when referring to a female's sexuality, appearing to have the moral quality of judging and sentencing as good, not so good or just so terrible that it deserves to go into fork for it. I myself have sat for hours with friends discussing about how easy a certain female is. I know for sure that many people have sat down to say the same about me. However, amidst the back and forth suddenly I had a doubt: what qualifies us to judge one another and exactly what is our criteria? Then I realized that women are seen as objects of public property. We all believe its okay to be opinionated about others sexuality making this is a serious social and cultural problem that goes unnoticed by most, but that directly or indirectly causes us much harm. 

If we analyze it correctly, its more of the same: the value of a woman is given largely by her body, not just by how it is conserved (we better be a size 0) but also by how it is used. The morality of a woman has little to do with compassion, kindness, integrity or ethics and everything to do with kissing and penetrations. In fact, I remember a chat I received in school - the one I attended to be educated with values - but in which they compared women with roses. According to the lecturer, every time a woman has a partner she loses a petal and if she is to have many partners before marriage, the only thing she will have left to offer her husband is a leafless stalk. Obviously, going to college, to become qualified, integral, successful, interesting, funny and a good person is completely secondary, you must be chaste before anything else.

Unfortunately, being good, chaste, pure and dignified means a complete restriction of our freedoms, not only as women but as human beings. Women should not party a lot, have many male friends, talk openly about sex, drink a lot, speak very loudly or dressing with a plunging neckline. The feminist author Jessica Valenti, said: "Apparently, the word "slut" can apply to any activity that does not include cross stitching, praying, or sitting still [...]" [1] That is, there are a number of rigid standards and expectations that women are supposed to comply with, at the minimum deviation of this our morals come into jeopardy.

How many of you have felt inhibited to upload a photo, make a comment or even kiss a guy out of fear of being judged? Still in my 22 years of age, I have friends who make themselves "difficult" to win someone that interests them. Because, of course, an indecisive woman must be convinced and ultimately turns out to be a reward for the lover who courts, this is far more attractive than a determined woman who knows what she wants and does not need anyone to form an opinion for her.

Almost by inertia call of romance to the idea of ​​love proposed by Ricardo Arjona (the great scholar of our time!) In his song "Dime Que No", in which the woman is clearly designed as a trophy for her Romeo, who is more attracted by the challenge that the woman assumes than by herself. We have to become aware of what is behind our prejudices and how much freedom and lacerate the feelings of others. The word "slut" has no other purpose than to humiliate women and empower avoid all dimensions of their lives. Too often we confuse an independent woman and confident with an easy woman, not worthy of being respected as a human being let alone one couple.

We are in a social and cultural period in which the struggle for gender equality have gained much height. But while most people focus to achieve more tangible gains, silent threats we are consumed socially. We have worried so much to revolutionize the structures that we have ignored the most important transformation: the thought. Whenever women are assessed and valued for their appearance, in the broader spectrum of the word, its true essence, who they are, will be relegated to oblivion. Will do little to We'reach gender parity statistics, if in human have not changed the power relations that govern us. Change begins with each of us.

[1] Valenti, Jessica. "He's a Stud, She's a Slut." He's a Stud, She's a Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know. Berkeley, CA: Seal, 2008. N. pag. Ebook.

We Are Our Biggest Critics...

A few weeks ago while on Facebook, I bumped into a video shared by one of my friends. The video was from Dove for their Real Beauty campaign. The sole purpose of the video is to show how women tend to criticize themselves more harshly then others would. Who is to blame for this? Ourselves or Society?

The reason for this blog...

During my Spring semester 2013 at Hunter College in NYC, I took a Women and the Media class that gave us the opportunity to come up with our own final project. After a lot of contemplating and with the help of my professor, I decided to create a blog targeted towards women of all ages. I thought it would be interesting to have a featured blog, where writers from different age groups and cultures can voice their opinion on a topic of their choice, of course with women in mind.

Women are constantly seeing signs that can make us feel as if we don't belong, aren't accepted or belittled. We are constantly criticized for our appearance and often not valued for our goals and personalities, but by our looks, as if the most important part of our life is our physical image. My goal for this blog is to create a space where all women can have a place to boost their self-esteem, accept themselves as they are and help others do the same.